Friday, January 06, 2006

Hiatus For Uranus

I am afraid, my friends, that it is time to call off this whole blogging thing for awhile. That's right, we here at "just say joe to drugs" are going on hiatus for retooling and some much needed rest and relaxation. I'm sorry it had to come to this, but management refuses to hire another assistant and the warehouse guys are threatening to go on strike. Also, the lack of any real news has really forced our creative team to put in some serious overtime. (Yes, we do have a creative team. His name is Gus and he graduated from Pauly Shore's Online Learnin Depo.) The team and I will probably be back in August and we will continue to read and comment on your blogs, but the budget for that has been slashed, therefore the frequency and quality of the comments will be noticibly poorer.

So this is it folks. The last blog for at least six months, and seeing as how my colleagues have already made a beeline for the super cheap whiskey the company has provided, I guess I'm on my own for this one. Fellow bloggers, put on your helmets. We're taking a ride on the Joseph Leslie Everson express, where everything will be revealed and... wait, did I just write my middle name? That was the one thing I was going to keep secret. Damn, oh well, there's no time for deleting now because the train has already left the station. Remember to hold on at all times and if you need it, a barf bag is under your seat.

Favourite Band of All Time: Rage Against the Machine (I love the feeling of righteous anger almost as much as I love the feeling of righteous indifference.)

Most Awkward Moment: Back in '95, I was at my friend, Adam's cabin on Savory Island and the two of us snuck off to have a party on the other, uninhabited, side of the island. There were at least ten of us rowdy teens and we were all very drunk; so drunk in fact that one girl decided to start mooning everybody. A little while later Adam, this cute little blonde number, and I were taking a walk when my friend dares me to make out with "Michelle." Me, thinking that Michelle was the girl back at the fire who had mooned everyone, started laughing like a lunatic. Of course, Michelle was the girl we were walking with and she had this embarrassed look on her face that I can still see to this day, whenever I start thinking I'm the shit. After seeing her, I realized my mistake and tried to mumble some drunk apology that I'm not sure she understood and then my family and I left the next day. You can tell when I'm having that memory because I'll wince all of a sudden, for no apparent reason.

Best Fight: When I was seven and had just gotten my yellow belt in karate, some neighbourhood punk started some shit with me on his front lawn. I decided to throw down and use my karate skillz on his punk ass. Except, I decided to forgo my punch, kick, block skillz in favour of the kata (a series of moves that you have to learn to pass to the next belt) that I'd just mastered. So, this kid is trying to wrestle and hit me and I'm steadfastly doing my routine, regardless of what he is doing or even where he is. Eventually he got so frustrated that he ran inside. I was the neighborhood hero.

Worst Fight: Getting the crap kicked out me by about fifteen to twenty guys, just because me and my friends were walking by. The worst part is that they decided to leave my friends alone and focus on me because I was bigger than they were. Life is tough in the hood.

High School Years: Wasn't super popular, wasn't a geek. Maybe I could put it this way: I helped win some basketball games and I came third in the province in a math contest. I won "best costume" one year for my Jolly Green Giant impersonation. For grad, (or the prom for you Yanks) I got turned down by one blonde but somehow managed to go with an even hotter one. All in all, they were probably the best nine years of my life. ha ha

Favourite Movie: The Godfather (reminds me of the old country)

Favourite Pastime: Reading (Yeah, I play a lot of videogames, watch a lot of tv, and eat a lot of pizza pops, but reading still comes in at numbah one. Just can't get enough of those Harlequin Romance novels.)

Dream Date: Buffy Summers (C'mon, it's a dream, I know she isn't real. Plus, who could say no to a girl with super powers?)

Dream Date With Actual Person: You... as long as you're buying. I swear I won't order the lobster.

And now I'd like to give a shout out to my blogging buddies, those people that somehow looked past the poor writing and lame jokes and decided to give me some constructive comments such as, "You suck." You are all very smart ("s.m.r.t.") and awesome people who deserve to be prime minister or president or overlord (or Underlord) of whatever country you live in. Those of you who are pirates deserve to be captain and those of you who are leprechauns deserve your pot of gold... or at least your Lucky Charms. So whether you're hugging your Cheat, living it up in a Rainbow Palace, cheering for the Canucks, ripin a fat solo on your videogame guitar, or sweating to the oldies, I'd like to thank you for a swell few months and I'll see you in August.

17 Comments:

Blogger cranberry said...

tears and fears.....what will i do without joe?!?!?

at least add me to msn dude

evolution75 AT hotmail DOT com (i'll bring a sailor costume)

10:12 PM  
Blogger notjoecheese said...

You got it, cran. Consider yourself added.

10:16 PM  
Blogger beadinggalinMS said...

Have fun!!! :)

p.s. I know I occasionly comment here but I do stalk alot so Joe Cheese I will miss ya.

6:06 AM  
Blogger that girl possessed said...

i will miss you joey joe joe jr shabado, but i know how you feel about the blogging thing. mike h and i were discussing going on hiatus just the other week.

keep it real homey.

7:41 AM  
Blogger shipkicker said...

ahhh joe i am going to miss you... oh wait i see you all the time. still. i went on hiatis months ago and no one seemed to notice and/or care. and who is this hot blonde who accompanied you to grad '98? she sounds sauccccy

6:07 PM  
Blogger Gareth said...

Awwww Joe dude I'll miss ya :( Ok maybe not that much but you know what I mean (and if you do then please take the time to explain it to me!)
We call grad over here a formal (did that make sense lol?)

And pls add me to your VIP contacts too (Vulgar Idiotic People haha). You'll see my addy in my profile).

7:32 AM  
Blogger notjoecheese said...

beadinggalinms, I will miss your stalking.

tgp, I'll keep it real to the max!

We all noticed your lack of posting, shippy. I just figured you were lazy. And the blonde was very saucccy, but I can't tell you who she was. That was one of the conditions of her going with me.

Gareth, I will certainly add you to my contacts, but it won't be for about a week, because my computer is currently in the shop getting some much needed virus removal. (I'm writing this at my parents house.)

11:36 AM  
Blogger trinamick said...

This blogging thing takes up a lot of time, huh? Sorry you won't be around for awhile, but we'll see ya in August. Don't forget about us!

9:45 AM  
Blogger Underachiever said...

Dude,

Let me just say this in the most sincerest way possible. You are the shiznit, bro. You are da bomb. You are the wind between my cheeks.

uh you know what I mean.

With all the non-gay love in my loins,

Undr(see you in 6 months. Hey, if you behave yourself you might get parole in 4! Just a suggestion. I don't know maybe you like prison sodomy. To each his own!)

9:37 PM  
Blogger notjoecheese said...

trinamic, this here blogging thingy does take up a lot of my precious time. Time that I will now use to devote to my favorite hobby, clubbing seals. (That's where I go clubbing with seals, not bash them over the head.)

Undr, my man (at least I think you're a man) I'm a goin to miss your comments. Rest assured that if something major happens before august I will post about it. It will, however, have to be something along the lines of me winning the Super Bowl. Although I can't see that happening, seeing as how the team that I don't belong to didn't make the playoffs. Maybe next year.

3:23 PM  
Blogger that girl possessed said...

i miss joe

7:38 PM  
Blogger Pockey said...

Bye joe, you shall be missed!!

add to msn

ahpoohbear@hotmail.com

Brookswood, fun fun, have to say jolly green was great!!

7:37 PM  
Blogger cranberry said...

i miss joe.

2:29 AM  
Blogger notjoecheese said...

Summer Blockbusteresque preview will be coming soon.

12:52 PM  
Blogger Gareth said...

If you come back soon dude I will share my lucky charms with you :D

5:51 AM  
Blogger that girl possessed said...

is it august yet?

6:33 PM  
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12:36 AM  

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